Predicting Majors Based on Instagram Bios

By Max Schaller

Picture this. It’s an ordinary day. You’re scrolling through the
gram, and you’re feeling a bit antsy. You’ve just spent the last
half-hour zooming in on your ex’s tagged photos, and you’re
feeling like you should finally delete the app for good. But then you
sit back and think. You consider how much you can really learn about
someone through those little curated squares. You consider how peo-
ple’s core values truly shine through their social media presence. You
could probably even tell what their major is, just based on their bio!
Instagram really puts the ‘super’ in ‘superficial!’

Below are some examples of Instagram bios that immediately imply
what their owner’s major might be.

Any reference to the word ‘vibe’ – Environmental Science
It’s so cool that you get to go on graded walks around campus. Wish
that was me.

A comprehensive list of every city they’ve been to – Geography
You definitely took the time to immerse yourself in all of those
unique cultures. You’re such a global citizen. Congrats!

An apostrophe on the wrong side of their graduation year –
Applied Math
It makes sense that these people speak in Greek letters—they’ve
probably never had to read a book. It’s just so hard to take someone
seriously when their bio says that they are 23 feet tall.

A motivational quote – Business Economics
Makes sense. The first rule to becoming a Finance Bro is that you
must convince everyone you work hard. Nothing gets me going like
reading ‘Work hard in silence, let success be your noise’ every time I
open the app.

Links to charities – Global Studies
Honestly, props to you for caring about the world. I see you with that
non-profit linktree.

A graduation year that was over 5 years ago – Gerontology
We get it, you peaked in college. Just leave it out. Maybe you could
call your grandkids.

An emoji after every line of their bio – Communications
You’re just so approachable! Way to streamline your digital
connections. Sometimes the wave emoji just speaks louder than

Link to an art account – DESMA or Labor Studies
Either you’re an art major or you study something dull and want
people to think you’re creative and unique. It’s a valiant effort. Keep
it up!

The date that they started things with bae – Classics
Someone come get their boy, he thinks he’s in Romeo and Juliet.
College doesn’t work that way, bro. I’m sure your girl’s on Tinder.

College doesn’t work that way, bro. I’m sure your girl’s on Tinder.
An empty bio – Undeclared
As the great American poet and storyteller Drake once rapped: ‘A wise
man once said nothing at all.’ Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out!

A bible verse – Study of Religion
But wait, did John score 3 or 16?

I hope this article helped you realize how much substance there is
to the way we portray ourselves on digital platforms. All it takes is a
little thought!

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