By Peter Shoemaker
I’m going to take a wild guess that you either worship billionaire founders as the best thing since sliced bread or think wealthy elites are too f$&#*%g rich (viva la revolución!). Regardless, I think it’s time for an entirely fresh perspective. Reader, have you ever set aside the tired, 2-sided argument and examined just how much hassle is associated with wealth creation?
New companies tend to hire, a lot. This means signing bonuses, establishing payroll, applying for health insurance, and completing W-2s. What a drag! Then, the new products they develop enter the world and start displacing existing solutions that were working just fine—so what if it’s more efficient. Take a moment to reflect on all of the time and energy you have invested into learning how to use these new technologies, only to do it all again a few years later. Hassle! To further complicate things, the employees of these very same companies burden the IRS with more work by filing and paying income taxes—every single year!
Now picture the companies behind these new products you had to adjust to, with their millions of employees and billions of dollars of economic growth. Imagine how much hassle all of these founders introduced to the world, just for the sake of “progress” and “innovation”. To think they want to be rewarded? For the rare troublemakers capable of building world-changing (aka hassle-inducing) enterprises, a pat on the back and participation trophy should be more than enough. These founders, imbued with a false sense of entitlement from changing the world, are lucky to not be tossed in jail for disturbing the peace with their disruptive technology!
Beyond disrupting technology, progress-obsessed entrepreneurs love nothing more than to plaster their names on nonprofits just to brag to their golfing buddies how much good they are doing in the world. The last thing these charities need is the additional hassle of renaming their facilities, figuring how to hire more staff and trying to find more people to help. In 2015, the San Francisco General Hospital was renamed “the Priscilla and Mark Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital and Trauma Center” after Mark and Pricilla donated $75 million, supposedly to purchase new equipment and technology—to do what, save lives? Besides, there are barely any worthy social causes as the government is taking care of it all!
Are you starting to get the picture? If it is still not clear, contemplate how zillionaire founders spread the disease of new venture creation by incubating and investing in other early stage startups. Like the mythical hydra, the acquisition of one startup just jumpstarts the creation of countless more, all intent on disrupting your life with new technology! Not to mention, continued “progress” is making it easier and easier for everyday people from all backgrounds to build their own businesses, compounding the creation of hassle. So what if it solves some technical problems…what about the hassle?
Fortunately for this nation, things are going so well we no longer need innovation. Let’s just sit back, enjoy some recently legalized relaxation plants and wait for the next season of virtual reality E-Sports. Stop worrying so much about any of the socalled “urgent” global issues, which are overhyped by moneyhungry innovators looking to separate you from your hard-earned dollars.
You see, the process of wealth creation through new ventures can only lead to hassle. I personally can’t take any more hassle from this constant stream of innovations, and have written this article as a last ditch effort to stop progress and wealth creation in America. Just remember: more progress = more problems.
So stop innovating please.