Category: Fall 2019
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Young Students Redefine Grassroots Political Movements
Rushabh Nagori Every important social or political movement starts with one brave person taking the first step. If not for these courageous souls, societal progress would stall and important dialogue would stagnate to a disgraceful level. One such brave soul walks amongst us on the UCLA campus and is redefining grassroots political movements by writing […]
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Motion to Allow Fraternities 3 Assaults Per Year
By Reagan Passmore It’s time we reflected upon a reality. Greek life is, for many, the social life-blood at UCLA. Where else can first and second years, without the golden ticket of a valid ID, or faked equivalent, go to let out stress on a Thursday or Friday night? [Where can daddy’s little girl go […]
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An Idiot’s Guide to Flyering
By Micha Balourdas Step 1: Print Terrible Flyers You might think that the best way to attract new members to your club would be to print well-designed, glossy flyers with clear contact information. Wrong. Students should mistake your flyers for toilet paper. First, find a printer that’s almost out of ink – you’re going for […]
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Free Tacos on Your Mother’s Dime and Your Father’s Lawyer
By Larry Chen Today, while walking back from class, I noticed that there was a purple truck set up outside Pauley with a long line snaking out from it. Sensing free stuff, I made a beeline for the truck, and after seeing that people were leaving the truck with tacos, I got very excited. It […]
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For The Birds
By Alli Malone Would you rather get hit by a scooter or a motorcycle? At UCLA, you don’t have to choose! Students on Birds and the cops chasing them can’t wait to give you the opportunity to experience both. On Tuesday November 5th, a UCPD officer on a motorcycle was sighted just outside Wasserman Football […]
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“Totally Not Triggered”
By Jonah Wiener-Brodkey Donald Trump, Jr. had high expectations for a promotional event at UCLA on Sunday, where he planned to discuss his new book, “Triggered: How the Left Thrives on Hate and Wants to Silence Us.” The success of Trump’s big day, however, was called into question as soon as he arrived to boos […]
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UCLA’s Lack of Urinal Dividers Spawns Penis ! Envy ! Panic !
By Keaton Larson Across UCLA’s campus, a dangerous trend preys on the ultimate male insecurity: penile inferiority. As more and more urinal dividers are removed, students are forced to face the shocking truth that their endowment may have been less than generous. This has led some to suspect that the removal of dividers was a […]
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Why Wealth Creation in America Needs to End
By Peter Shoemaker I’m going to take a wild guess that you either worship billionaire founders as the best thing since sliced bread or think wealthy elites are too f$&#*%g rich (viva la revolución!). Regardless, I think it’s time for an entirely fresh perspective. Reader, have you ever set aside the tired, 2-sided argument and […]
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The Art of the Business Family
A Guide to Maximum Efficiency in the Familial Environment By Julia Tung Your children need to be prepared for the formalities of the business family and the business world, so it is important to introduce them to Google Calendar and Gmail as soon as possible. However, exposing them to the internet too early in life […]