The Non-Stem Majors Guide To Fitting In At UCLA

By: Anthony Castillo
If you are entering as a new student at UCLA, you’re probably
anticipating the opportunity to create new bonds and meet
people who share your interests. Perhaps you’ll meet your
new hiking buddy, beach friends, or study squad! However, you
begin to realize that you are struggling to relate to others and can’t
form a good impression. Suddenly, you have an epiphany; you’re
a humanities/social science major. Given UCLA’s competitive
environment, it is no wonder you do not receive the same positive
reaction as the 4.0 GPA aerospace engineer who is president of four
clubs. Here is your indispensable guide to fitting in at UCLA and
maximizing your college experience!

1. Be a STEM major
Not much of a choice. Oh, you already have a non-STEM major
you’re happy with? Well, good luck being invited to the next study
session or dorm kickback. You’ll probably miss out on the same old relatable jokes about dropping out. What’s worse, you might even miss the chance to be in a group TikTok where your peers will express their discontent
with their major or emphasize how they decided to go out instead of
studying. If you decide to become a STEM major, congratulations!
You can now form a good impression the next time you break the ice
with new students!

2. Take a Surplus of Units and Extra Curriculars
But wait, just saying you’re a smart STEM major isn’t enough. You
must be sure to establish your credibility as a competitive UCLA
student by maximizing your Google calendar with classes, events,
and clubs. Bonus points if you hold a leadership position to push the
limits of your availabilities. Once you have overwhelmed yourself
with extra-curriculars and units, you can finally boast about your
capabilities as a student. You know, just getting accepted into UCLA
doesn’t mean you’re qualified as competitive. So, the next time you’re
running like Usain Bolt from the North end of the campus to the
South end because your classes are only ten minutes apart and you
just had three lectures and two discussions prior, at least you can say
you’re a STEM major.

3. Have Competitive Hobbies
After establishing your credibility, it’s important to show how
talented you are. Can you play the guitar? Are you athletic? Can
you cook tasty cuisines? Well, it doesn’t matter because it’s not
competitive. You must have a talent that makes you stand out!
You should learn something practical like building computers
that can compete with top tier Apple MacBooks. Pick up a skill in
modeling airplanes and use it to compete in national competitions. It
might help to know how to create apps that will be worth millions by using your STEM knowledge. If you can only play guitar, you should
at least be making songs that make it to the top 10 Spotify streamed
songs. If you are athletic, you better be next up for the NFL or NBA,
with a flock of fans following you for an autograph. If you can cook,
your cuisines must have been approved by Chef Ramsey himself.

4. Integrate STEM into your daily conversation
You can’t let only the people you’re meeting know you’re a STEM
major. Spread the word, but indirectly. If you are sitting at a dining
hall with hundreds of other students, that would be the perfect
opportunity to talk about how difficult the lecture was that day or
how the professor did not slow down when they were talking about
the Riemann Hypothesis. It is more than likely someone will agree
and attempt to explain what the professor was talking about to
assert their knowledge over the material. Be sure you respond loudly
enough to drown out the conversation of nearby students, and that
way everyone will know you’re in STEM! If you’re walking to class
with a classmate, make sure to loudly claim you must’ve failed the
midterm, knowing you’ll pass with an A+.
Congratulations! You now know everything there is to know about
how to fit in at UCLA as a non-STEM major. Now go join the
community of ambitious students just like you!

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