Back to School: Dos and Dont’s

By: Kayla Gerber

After a long time in quarantine and sitting in Zoom calls, it’s
great to finally be back on campus—a whopping 559 days
later! As a former baby bruin who left as a freshman and
came back as a junior, things are obviously different. Here’s a back-
on-campus starter pack to make the adjustment a little easier!

Do Bring: Good running shoes
Imagine not waking up and walking two feet to your next class. With
classes back in-person, the transition has been tough. And with 8ams
on the rise this quarter, that means sprinting to campus at the crack
of dawn just to take a fat nap when you get there. I recommend a pair
of high-quality running shoes on your morning jog, or sprint, to get to
your classes on time so you’re there to take attendance just in time
for your 2-hour nap. Maybe even bring a pillow and a cozy blanket.
Or just don’t go. That’s another option

Don’t Bring: COVID
We all see you coughing in the bathroom of Royce hall with your 102
fever while your symptom checker says you’re cleared and ready to
go. Don’t bring this to campus. Please leave it at home. Thanks!

Do Bring: An actual pen and paper
“This class isn’t recorded? And I have to take notes?”-everyone.
For those of you with in-person classes, I recommend bringing an
actual pen and paper. I know it’s scary, but when your professor tells
you you’ve got 10 minutes for a pop-quiz you gotta be prepared to
write down your wrong answers somewhere. I know, it’s rough taking
tests in person and not on zoom, but cheaters never win and winners
never cheat.

Don’t Bring: Too much UCLA gear
We get it, you go to UCLA. So does everybody here. If you’re dressed
head to toe in UCLA gear it’s clear you’re a freshman, and you
don’t want that. Leave it at home so you have enough clean UCLA
tee-shirts to wear during Thanksgiving when you gotta rub it into
others’ faces. We may know you go to UCLA and that you’re failing
two classes, but we need to make sure that everyone from your
highschool knows you go to the #1 public university and that you’re
therefore better than everybody else.
Do Bring: Caffeine’re telling me there’s such a thing as a 3-hour in-person class
at night? Yes. But fear not, with the right amount of caffeine, it’s just
about slightly bearable. Maybe now’s the right time to finally sign up
as a Yerba ambassador and get some free energy drinks along with
every other person on campus. Use my coupon code #nobodycares
for 3% off your next order!
Don’t Bring: Your car
This may come as a shock, but leave your car at home. Street Parking
is a no-go at UCLA unless you want to be towed on a weekly basis and insist on continuously paying the $100 fines for not moving your car every two hours. If you somehow manage to find a spot without getting ticketed, enjoy your car getting scratched by shitty drivers trying to parallel park on their fifth attempt. In the case that you somehow still want to bring your car, prepare your yak bags in the trunk because you’ll be instantly upgraded to everyone’s favorite designated driver. And no, you can’t charge your friends a $500 fee
for yaking in the backseat all over your brand new Subaru. Sorry. Although you can try.

Do Bring: Top Ramen
If you live off-campus, you know what it’s like to attempt to cook at 3
in the morning during midterm season. In-n-Out is closed and your
groceries are covered in mold. Now imagine the finest of foods that
can be made in one simple step: Top-ramen. This luxurious dish has
got it all. It is simple to make, comes in several different flavors, and
covers all your basic food groups. You’ve probably even seen it in
your local frat’s kitchen when you’re looking for a gourmet meal to
eat after another night of extensive partying. #notanAD

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