By Krish Ajmani
I want to start off by saying I am pro-celebrity through and through. They are the ruling elite of our society, higher than the doctors that bring us into the world, the teachers who put their entire lives into building our futures, and the dozens of activist leaders of our generation. Am I putting them on a pedestal? Yes. Yes I am. Because they absolutely deserve it. Who else do we look to as role models? Who else will serve as an example and show us how to work and live? I cannot name a single other person who we should look up to, especially in these difficult and unprecedented times.
What? You think celebrities bend rules too? OK first of all, how dare you. Second, they can use their power and influence to do whatever they want because they’ve earned it. Through hard work and diligence, they’ve earned the right to enjoy life. Take Kylie Jenner for example. A few years ago, she used to be an average, ordinary woman. Now, she’s a testament to what a working class woman can do as long as she spends thousands on plastic surgery and has a sister make a certain video with a certain celebrity that goes viral for certain reasons. She took business risks, like which plastic surgeon to go to, and she prioritizes her family above all else.
She is entitled. I mean, she is entitled to break quarantine guidelines and throw a huge party for her daughter Stormi. That’s called caring for your family. Kylie Jenner is only one example of celebrities who espouse the right values.
Some of you may argue that politicians should be our role models. I disagree. All politicians are liars. They merely use their power and influence to do whatever they want. We can always count on celebrities, however, to be honest to us and never use their status to bend rules. Especially during such a critical time as the pandemic, they use their influence to calm us, to reassure us that everything will return to normal. Where would we be without Cardi B’s Insta pics to keep us focused and centered? I, for one, could not live without her there to guide me on my long journey to big booty actualization.
Sports stars are also great examples about how to deal with quarantine. The stress of staying at home for weeks has affected the mental health of many. Everyone is encouraged to find new hobbies or rediscover old ones. Pro athletes like Kyrie Irving show us how to prioritize our mental health. Kyrie is an amazing player on and off the court. He has shown us that stress relief can and should be incorporated during quarantine. Kyrie and his new teammate James Harden have attended multiple parties and friendly get-togethers at strip clubs. Taking care of your own needs with close friends is a way for us all to deal with the stress surrounding us.
I guess the moral of the story is be like Kylie. Be like Harden. Be like Kyrie. They have made it to the top, after all. (P.S. I am not legally responsible for anything that happens if you break quarantine guidelines).